Radical Ownership: Get in the Driver Seat of Your Life

We all know someone stuck in a cycle of victimhood—constantly complaining about their circumstances, blaming others for their struggles, living life as if they have no power to change anything. Maybe, if you’re honest with yourself, you recognize glimpses of this victim mentality in your own thinking from time to time.

I’ve been there. We all have. It’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling like life is happening to us rather than recognizing we’re active participants in our own story. When the job doesn’t work out, when the relationship fails, when the investment tanks, when health issues emerge—it’s natural to look outward for someone or something to blame.

But here’s what I’ve learned through my own journey in finance, investing, real estate, and life in general: while venting frustrations can provide temporary relief, living with a perpetual victim mindset is spiritually draining, disempowering, and incredibly self-limiting. It’s also a guaranteed way to remain stuck in the exact situations and patterns you desperately want to change.

The antidote? Radical ownership—a profoundly powerful mindset of taking 100% responsibility for your life’s circumstances and, more importantly, your response to them.

What Radical Ownership Really Means (And What It Doesn’t)

Before we go further, let me address the elephant in the room. When people first hear about “radical ownership,” they often think: “But so much is outside of my control! I didn’t choose to get laid off. I didn’t cause that market crash. I didn’t ask for this health diagnosis.”

You’re absolutely right. And that’s not what radical ownership is about.

Radical ownership isn’t about blame. It’s not about shouldering the entire world’s burdens or pretending that external factors don’t matter. It’s not about toxic positivity or denying that genuinely difficult things happen to good people.

Here’s what it is: Radical ownership means embracing your power to control the one thing you always can—your ability to respond.

You may not be able to control a job loss, health issue, or relationship conflict that life throws at you. But you absolutely can control:

• How you choose to show up in that situation
• The actions you take (or don’t take) in response
• The mindset you adopt for navigating the challenge
• What you learn from the experience
• How you use this adversity to grow stronger

The term “radical ownership” gained popularity through Jocko Willink’s book “Extreme Ownership,” which drew from his experiences as a Navy SEAL commander. The principle was simple but powerful: leaders must own everything in their world, no excuses. If their team fails, they own it. If the mission goes wrong, they own it. Not because everything was literally their fault, but because taking ownership is the only path to improvement.

This same principle applies to your life. When you take radical ownership, you stop waiting for circumstances to change, for other people to act differently, or for the “right time” to magically appear. You recognize that you are the primary architect of your life’s trajectory.

Tale of two paths, you choose

The Victim Mindset vs. The Owner Mindset

To understand radical ownership, it helps to see the stark contrast between victim thinking and ownership thinking. Let me show you how these mindsets play out in real situations:

Scenario 1: Career Setback

Victim Mindset:
“I got passed over for promotion because my boss doesn’t like me. They promote based on politics, not merit. There’s nothing I can do—the system is rigged. I’ll just keep my head down and hope things change.”

Ownership Mindset:
“I didn’t get the promotion. That’s disappointing, but what can I learn from this? I should ask for specific feedback on what skills or experiences I’m missing. Maybe I need to be more visible in my contributions. Perhaps I should explore opportunities at other companies where my skills are valued more. What actions can I take this quarter to position myself better?”

Scenario 2: Financial Struggles

Victim Mindset:
“Everything is so expensive now. Wages haven’t kept up with inflation. The wealthy get wealthier while people like me struggle. I can’t save because there’s nothing left after bills. The economic system is designed to keep regular people down.”

Ownership Mindset:
“My finances are tight, and that’s stressful. But what’s within my control? I can track every expense to identify waste. I can negotiate bills and cut subscriptions I don’t use. I can develop a skill that increases my earning potential. I can start small with $25/month saved and build from there. What’s one thing I can do today to improve my financial position?” (Related: Financial Stability Guide)

Scenario 3: Relationship Issues

Victim Mindset:
“My partner never listens to me. They’re so selfish and inconsiderate. If only they would change, our relationship would be great. I’ve tried everything, but they refuse to see my perspective. I’m stuck in this situation.”

Ownership Mindset:
“Our relationship is struggling, and that’s painful. But what can I control? I can change how I communicate my needs. I can model the behavior I want to see. I can suggest couples therapy. I can evaluate whether my expectations are realistic. And ultimately, I can make a conscious choice about whether to stay or leave. What role have I played in creating this dynamic, and what can I do differently?”

See the pattern? The circumstances are identical. The difference is entirely in how you frame the situation and what you choose to do about it.

The Power of a Solutions-Driven Mindset

When you take radical responsibility for your circumstances, you shift from a mindset of blame and justifications to one of curiosity and problem-solving. This shift is everything.

I’ve seen this play out repeatedly in my own investing journey. When a stock position loses money, I have two choices: I can blame the market, the CEO, the economy, the “manipulators”—or I can ask, “What did I miss in my analysis? What can I learn from this? How can I improve my process?”

The first approach feels satisfying in the moment but teaches me nothing. The second approach is uncomfortable but makes me a better investor over time.

From Complaints to Questions

The key to developing a solutions-driven mindset is replacing complaints with questions. Here’s how this looks in practice:

Business/Career Domain:

• Instead of: “My business is failing because the market is saturated and I can’t compete with bigger companies.”
• Ask: “What unique value can I offer that larger competitors can’t? What adjustments can I make to better serve my target customers? Who could I learn from who succeeded in a similar situation?”

Career Domain:

• Instead of: “I’m stuck in this unfulfilling career with no options.”
• Ask: “What are my passion areas and core strengths? How could I strategically pivot to more meaningful work? What skills do I need to develop? Who’s in my network that could provide guidance or opportunities?”

Daily Frustrations:

• Instead of: “This traffic is terrible. I’m going to be late again, and it’s out of my control.”
• Ask: “How can I plan ahead next time and give myself more buffer? Could I adjust my schedule to avoid peak traffic? Is there an alternative route or mode of transportation?”

The problems and frustrations may be the same. But your frame of mind radically shifts from disempowered helplessness to active problem-solving. And that context shift unlocks your ability to improve your situation.

The Problem-Solving Framework

Here’s a simple framework I use when facing any challenge:

1. Acknowledge the reality: State the situation objectively, without judgment or emotion.
2. Identify what I can control: List everything within my sphere of influence.
3. Identify what I can’t control: Acknowledge these factors, then consciously let them go.
4. Generate options: Brainstorm at least 5 possible actions, no matter how small.
5. Choose and act: Pick one action and commit to it today.
6. Learn and adjust: Evaluate results and refine approach.

This framework transforms you from a spectator to a player in the game of your own life. And that vigor for proactively finding solutions fuels progress in ways a victim mindset simply cannot.

Becoming Action-Oriented and Decisive

Complaining without taking action is a draining habit that keeps you stuck in cycles of negativity. I know this because I’ve fallen into this trap myself. It’s easy to analyze, discuss, and complain about problems. Taking action is harder.

But when you embrace radical ownership, something shifts. You empower yourself to be decisive and drive real change. You stop waiting for perfect conditions and start working with what you have.

Financial Domain: Getting Out of Debt

Most people bemoan their financial situation but keep swiping their credit cards, playing the lottery, or hoping for a windfall. The victim mindset says, “I’ll never get ahead. Everything is too expensive. I don’t make enough money.”

With radical ownership, you recognize that while your income might be limited, your choices aren’t. You:

• Track every single expense for a month to identify waste
• Cut frivolous spending, even when it feels uncomfortable
• Negotiate bills (utilities, insurance, subscriptions)
• Pick up a side gig or monetize a skill
• Educate yourself about investing and wealth-building
• Make the debt snowball method or avalanche method non-negotiable

None of these actions are easy. All of them require sacrifice. But they’re all within your control. And they work. (Learn more: My Investment Approach)

Health Domain: Getting in Shape

Feeling unhealthy and out of shape is demoralizing. The blame game accomplishes nothing: “I have bad genetics. I don’t have time. The gym is too expensive. Healthy food is too expensive.”

Taking ownership for your fitness means:

• Mapping out a realistic workout plan that fits your schedule
• Researching nutrition and learning how food affects your body
• Starting with bodyweight exercises at home if the gym isn’t accessible
• Meal prepping to avoid convenience food temptations
• Hiring a coach or finding an accountability partner
• Taking daily steps toward your wellness goals, even if they’re small

I’ve written about health optimization in other contexts like strategic juicing and flexibility training. The common thread? Taking ownership of your health choices.

The Bias Toward Action

Radical ownership is a profound mindset shift from “Someone should do something about this” to “I am the someone who’s going to take action.”

It’s recognizing that while the world can be unjust and things don’t always go your way, you are ultimately the one who decides whether to be victimized by life or fight to improve your circumstances.

When you choose radical ownership:

• Procrastination becomes unacceptable because you know it only perpetuates problems
• Excuses lose their power because you’re focused on solutions, not justifications
• Small actions become valuable because you recognize they compound over time
• Failure becomes data, not defeat, because you’re learning and adjusting
• Progress becomes inevitable because you’re consistently taking steps forward

You embrace a bias toward decisiveness and doing something—anything—to improve your situation one step at a time. This relates directly to what I discuss in my post about the experimental mindset—treating life as a series of experiments where you take action, gather data, and refine your approach.

The Action Cycle

Taking the Steering Wheel of Your Life

Perhaps the biggest benefit of radical ownership is feeling empowered to take the steering wheel of your life’s journey. Rather than idly watching circumstances happen to you, you recognize your power to shape your destiny through purposeful choices and effort.

This doesn’t mean you control everything. You don’t. But you control more than you think.

Work-Life Balance

Most people resign themselves to poor work-life balance, saying, “This is just how it is in my industry. Everyone works these hours. If I don’t, I’ll fall behind.”

Radical owners get proactive:

• They negotiate boundaries with their employer
• They explore job opportunities with better balance
• They go all-in on that side business idea to regain autonomy
• They develop systems and efficiencies to accomplish more in less time
• They get clear on what they’re willing to sacrifice and what’s non-negotiable

I’ve experienced this personally in my career in the energy sector. There were times when I felt trapped by demanding schedules and competing priorities. Taking ownership meant having difficult conversations, setting clear boundaries, and being willing to walk away if those boundaries weren’t respected. It also meant getting brutally efficient with my time so I could deliver results without sacrificing my personal life. (Related: Optimizing Your Evenings)

Relationship Dynamics

Relationship struggles are painful, and it’s tempting to focus solely on what the other person needs to change. But radical ownership means starting with yourself:

• Improving your own communication skills and emotional regulation
• Adjusting your actions and behaviors first
• Evaluating whether your expectations are realistic
• Seeking couples therapy or relationship coaching
• Being honest about your role in creating current dynamics
• Making conscious decisions about the relationship’s future based on values, not just comfort or fear

This is challenging because it requires vulnerability and self-reflection. It’s easier to point fingers. But relationships only improve when at least one person takes ownership for changing the dynamic. (More on this: Nurturing Healthy Relationships)

Health and Wellness

Health concerns can be scary, and avoidance is a common response. “I’ll deal with it later. It’s probably nothing. I don’t want to know if something’s wrong.”

Radical owners take their wellbeing into their own hands:

• They don’t ignore symptoms or put off medical appointments
• They research their conditions and become educated partners in their healthcare
• They make lifestyle adjustments proactively, not reactively
• They follow through on treatment plans consistently
• They advocate for themselves when something doesn’t feel right
• They recognize that their health is their responsibility, not their doctor’s

The Internal Locus of Control

In every area of life, those who embrace radical ownership experience a profound mindset shift. They move from saying “I have to” (victim language) to realizing “I get to” (ownership language).

You get to be the CEO of your life’s trajectory. Not in a controlling way where you try to manipulate every outcome, but through purposeful response and stewardship over your sphere of power and influence.

That internal locus of control—that belief in your capacity to drive change—allows you to live life not as life happens to you, but as you happen to life. You are the navigator, the pathfinder, the change agent in your own story.

Common Obstacles and How to Overcome Them

Let’s be real: embracing radical ownership isn’t easy. If it were, everyone would do it. Here are the most common obstacles I’ve encountered and observed, along with strategies for overcoming them:

Obstacle 1: “But It Really Wasn’t My Fault”

This is the most common resistance to radical ownership. And you’re right—often, bad things happen that truly weren’t your fault. You got rear-ended by a distracted driver. Your company went bankrupt due to executive fraud. You inherited health issues genetically.

The reframe: Radical ownership isn’t about fault or blame. It’s about response-ability—your ability to respond. You didn’t cause the accident, but you can control how you handle recovery. You didn’t cause the bankruptcy, but you can control how you navigate finding new employment.

Separate what happened (often not your fault) from what you do next (always your responsibility).

Obstacle 2: Feeling Overwhelmed by Responsibility

Taking ownership for everything in your life can feel crushing. “You mean I’m responsible for all of this? That’s too much!”

The reframe: You’re not responsible for fixing everything immediately. You’re responsible for taking the next right step. Just one step. Then another. Progress over perfection.

Break large problems into smaller components. Focus on what you can control today, right now, in this moment.

Obstacle 3: Fear of Failure

If you take ownership and act, you might fail. And that failure will be undeniably yours. It’s safer to stay in victim mode where you can blame circumstances.

The reframe: Failure is guaranteed if you don’t try. Taking ownership means you might fail, but you’ll learn. Staying in victim mode means you’ll definitely stay stuck, and you’ll learn nothing.

Moreover, “failure” is just data. It’s feedback about what doesn’t work, which gets you closer to what does work.

Obstacle 4: Past Trauma and Genuine Victimization

Some people have experienced real trauma, abuse, or victimization. Telling someone who was genuinely victimized to “just take ownership” can feel dismissive of their pain.

The reframe: Radical ownership doesn’t invalidate your past trauma or minimize what was done to you. Those things were real, and they weren’t your fault. But continuing to live as a victim keeps you trapped in the past.

Taking ownership means recognizing that while you couldn’t control what happened to you, you can control whether it defines your future. Healing from trauma is a journey, and ownership is part of that journey—but it should be approached with compassion and often with professional support.

Obstacle 5: Social Pushback

When you start taking radical ownership, people around you might resist. They’re used to commiserating about shared frustrations. Your new approach might make them uncomfortable or defensive.

The reframe: You can’t control others’ reactions. You can only control your own growth. Some people will be inspired by your changes. Others will resist. That’s their choice, not your responsibility.

Seek out relationships with other ownership-minded people while maintaining compassion for those still in victim mode—you were there once too.

The Balance: Ownership Without Self-Blame

Here’s a critical nuance that often gets lost: radical ownership is not the same as self-blame or harsh self-criticism. There’s a balance to strike.

Ownership says: “This situation isn’t what I wanted, and I contributed to it in some way. What can I learn? What will I do differently?”

Self-blame says: “This is all my fault. I’m terrible. I always mess everything up. There’s something wrong with me.”

See the difference? Ownership is empowering and forward-focused. Self-blame is paralyzing and backward-focused.

The Self-Compassion Component

Taking radical ownership works best when paired with self-compassion. Yes, take responsibility for your choices and their consequences. But do so with kindness toward yourself.

You’re human. You’ll make mistakes. You’ll have setbacks. You’ll sometimes fall back into victim thinking. That’s okay. Self-compassion means:

• Acknowledging your imperfection without harsh judgment
• Learning from mistakes without defining yourself by them
• Recognizing that everyone struggles; you’re not alone
• Speaking to yourself as you would a good friend
• Celebrating progress, not just perfection

Recognizing Systemic Barriers

It’s also important to acknowledge that some people face systemic barriers that make taking ownership more challenging. Poverty, discrimination, lack of access to education or healthcare—these are real obstacles that individuals didn’t create and can’t solely overcome through mindset shifts.

Radical ownership doesn’t mean ignoring these realities or blaming people for circumstances shaped by systemic injustice. It means recognizing what you can control within an imperfect system while working toward changing that system when possible.

You can simultaneously advocate for systemic change while taking personal ownership for your choices within the current system. These aren’t mutually exclusive.

How to Start Owning Your Life Today

Theory is useful, but application is everything. Here’s your practical roadmap for implementing radical ownership starting today:

Step 1: Take a Personal Inventory

Grab a journal and take a brutally honest look at your life across key categories:

• Career and finances
• Relationships (romantic, family, friendships)
• Health and wellness
• Personal growth and learning
• Overall life satisfaction and purpose

For each area, ask yourself:

• Where am I making excuses?
• Where am I feeling like a victim?
• What complaints do I repeatedly voice?
• What frustrations and limitations have I accepted as unchangeable?
• What would I do differently if I truly believed I could?

Write it all down. The act of externalizing these thoughts helps you see patterns more clearly.

Step 2: Replace Disempowering Language

Notice when you use victim language, then consciously rephrase in ownership mode:

Victim Language → Ownership Language:

• “I have to go to work” → “I choose to work here because it supports my financial goals”
• “If only my boss would appreciate me” → “I can document my achievements and request a meeting to discuss advancement”
• “I can’t because of [external factor]” → “Given [external factor], I can [alternative action]”
• “They make me so angry” → “I’m choosing to feel angry about their behavior”
• “I don’t have time” → “That’s not a priority for me right now”
• “This is just how things are” → “This is how things have been; I’m exploring how they could be different”

This language shift alone will begin transforming your mindset. You’ll notice how often you’ve been unconsciously positioning yourself as powerless.

Step 3: Get Radically Curious

For each area causing frustration or negativity, start asking yourself empowering questions:

• “What if I approached this completely differently?”
• “How could I create the outcome I want?”
• “Who has succeeded in a similar situation, and what can I learn from them?”
• “What’s the smallest step I could take today?”
• “If fear weren’t a factor, what would I do?”
• “What resources do I have that I’m not utilizing?”
• “What would someone I admire do in this situation?”

For each frustration, brainstorm at least 5 potential actions you could take. Don’t filter or judge them initially—just generate options. The goal is to move from “there’s nothing I can do” to “here are multiple things I could try.”

Step 4: Start with One Committed Action

Based on your brainstorming, pick just one concrete step you can take today. Emphasis on today, not tomorrow, not next week. One small action that moves you forward in any of your problem areas.

This could be:

• Sending one email to explore a new opportunity
• Blocking 30 minutes on your calendar for [priority activity]
• Having one honest conversation you’ve been avoiding
• Researching one solution to your current challenge
• Eliminating one time-waster from your routine
• Setting up one new healthy habit (even if it’s tiny)

The size of the action matters less than building the mental muscle of taking ownership and acting on it. Momentum builds from consistent small actions.

Step 5: Find Radical Ownership Examples

Seek out inspirational stories of people who overcame major challenges through grit, problem-solving, and personal accountability. This could be:

• Biographies of resilient leaders and entrepreneurs
• Documentaries about people overcoming adversity
• Podcasts featuring interviews with high-performers
• Real people in your life who embody ownership

Let their triumphs over victim mindsets motivate you. Study how they framed their challenges and what actions they took. Model their ownership mentality.

Step 6: Upgrade Your Tribe

Surround yourself with friends, colleagues, family members, and mentors who “get it” when it comes to radical ownership. Their mindsets and committed attitudes will both inspire and reinforce your own.

This doesn’t mean abandoning people still in victim mode—but it does mean being intentional about who you spend the most time with and whose advice you take seriously.

Seek out communities, whether online or in-person, of people who are also committed to personal growth and taking ownership. The energy is different. The conversations are different. The results are different.

Step 7: Create Accountability Systems

Taking ownership is easier with accountability. Consider:

• Finding an accountability partner who’s also working on ownership
• Joining a mastermind group focused on personal development
• Hiring a coach or therapist to help you work through obstacles
• Tracking your progress in a journal or app
• Sharing your commitments with someone who will check in
• Setting up consequences (positive or negative) for following through or not

Action Plan Checklist

Real-World Examples Across Life Domains

Let me share some real examples of how radical ownership has played out in different areas of my life and others I know:

Investing and Finance

Early in my investing journey, I made some poor decisions that cost me money. I could have blamed the market, the analysts whose recommendations I followed, or just bad luck. Instead, I took ownership:

• I analyzed what went wrong in my decision-making process
• I developed a more rigorous framework for evaluating investments (which I share in my post on intrinsic value)
• I committed to deeper research and understanding before investing
• I accepted that losses are part of investing and focused on my long-term strategy
• I learned from each mistake instead of repeating patterns

This ownership approach transformed my investing results over time. Not because I stopped making mistakes, but because I learned from them systematically.

Career Development

There was a period where I felt undervalued and frustrated in my role. I could have complained endlessly about poor management or lack of recognition. Instead:

• I documented my contributions and impact clearly
• I initiated conversations about advancement opportunities
• I developed skills that increased my value and marketability
• I built relationships across the organization
• I explored external opportunities to understand my market value
• I made a conscious decision to either improve my situation where I was or leave for better opportunities

Taking ownership meant I couldn’t just wait for recognition to come to me. I had to make the case for my value and be prepared to walk away if that wasn’t acknowledged.

Health and Wellness

Like many people, I’ve struggled with maintaining consistent health habits. It’s easy to blame busy schedules, stress, or lack of access to resources. Taking ownership meant:

• Acknowledging that my health is my responsibility, not my doctor’s or anyone else’s
• Experimenting with different approaches like strategic juicing to find what works for me
• Building sustainable routines rather than relying on motivation
• Tracking what actually affects my energy and health
• Making time for health a non-negotiable, not something I do “if I have time”

Travel and Life Experiences

I’ve written about various travels (like Puerto Vallarta, Thailand, and Italy). These experiences didn’t just happen—they required taking ownership for making them happen despite competing priorities and constraints.

It would have been easy to say “I’m too busy” or “I can’t afford it” or “Maybe someday.” Taking ownership meant making it a priority, planning deliberately, and creating the financial capacity to make it happen.

Final Thoughts: Your Life, Your Choice

The path of radical ownership isn’t about perfection—it’s an ever-evolving practice of mental readjustment and committed action, no matter how small. Every time you catch yourself slipping into blame or excuse-making, you get to consciously pivot back to asking, “What can I do differently to improve my reality?”

It’s both incredibly liberating and loaded with responsibility. Because when you wholly own your life’s outcomes, where you ultimately end up rests fully in your hands. That can feel empowering or terrifying, depending on your mindset.

But here’s what I’ve learned: the terror of responsibility is far less painful than the slow agony of feeling powerless. The discomfort of taking action is temporary. The regret of inaction lasts forever.

Imagine the freedom of knowing you get to be the author of your life’s story—not just a passive character being written into someone else’s narrative. With radical ownership, you are the driver co-creating your journey with life itself.

You don’t control everything. But you control more than you think. You can’t dictate outcomes, but you can absolutely influence the probability of outcomes through your choices, actions, and mindset.

There’s immense power and possibility in that recognition. All you have to do is start taking the steering wheel.

Will you take ownership today? Will you stop waiting for circumstances to change and start being the change? Will you recognize that while you may not have caused all your problems, you are the only one who can solve them?

The choice, as always, is yours. And that’s exactly the point.

Take Action: What’s one area of your life where you’ve been in victim mode? What’s one small action you can take today to shift toward ownership? Share in the comments—your commitment might inspire someone else to take their first step.