It’s About More Than Just “Networking”: The Real Importance of Our Relationships
As we navigate our careers and personal projects, it’s easy to get tunnel vision. We focus on goals, deadlines, and the constant drive to get ahead. I know this cycle well. For me, my hobbies, my work, and this blog are things I can do by myself, and I honestly cherish that solo time. There’s a story I often tell myself: that work absorbs so much of my time and mental energy that when I get home, or even on the weekends, I just need to be alone to recharge.
But here’s the thing about loneliness—it creeps up on you. You don’t notice it when you’re busy, when you’re achieving, when you’re checking off your to-do list. You notice it in the quiet moments, when success feels hollow because there’s no one to share it with. I’ve learned that fulfillment isn’t just about reaching your goals; it’s about having people who genuinely celebrate with you when you do.
The Difference Between Catching Up and Being Present
There’s a fundamental difference between catching up with someone once a month and actually being in someone’s life. One is maintenance; the other is presence. When you’re truly in someone’s life, you know the small stuff—their daily frustrations, their little victories, the mundane details that actually make up a life. You’re not just getting the highlight reel during scheduled coffee dates.
I’ve pushed myself to go out with people and talk about things other than work, and almost every time, the experience feels what I can only describe as foreign, unusual, and definitely beneficial. It’s a powerful reminder that stepping outside our own busy minds is not just a social obligation, but a genuine asset to our own well-being. Strong relationships are our support system; they’re the people who ground us and offer perspectives we can’t see on our own. In fact, nurturing these connections is one of the most effective ways of dealing with life’s pressures and can be a key part of the journey to becoming less Financially Stressed.
The Phone Call Paradox
Here’s something I’ve noticed: dialing the number is terrifying. My finger hovers over the call button, my mind races with excuses not to dial. But once I’m actually talking? It’s fine. More than fine—it’s usually great. The anticipation is always worse than the reality. This is true for reaching out to old friends, calling family, or reconnecting with former colleagues. The fear is in the initiation, not the interaction.
Setting Boundaries Without Building Walls
Let’s be real about something else: not every relationship deserves equal energy. Learning to protect your space and set boundaries is crucial. I’ve had to learn the hard way that people-pleasing leads to burnout and resentment. But here’s the nuance—you never really know what a relationship might become. That colleague you keep at arm’s length might become a trusted mentor. The acquaintance you almost wrote off might introduce you to your next opportunity.
The key is finding balance. Know when to protect your energy, but stay open to possibility. Some relationships will drain you; others will energize you. Learning to tell the difference is a skill worth developing.
A Practical Approach to Nurturing Connections
Professional Relationships
It’s easy to let professional contacts fade after you leave a company. But maintaining these connections doesn’t have to be a huge time commitment. It can be as simple as a quick check-in message on LinkedIn every few months, grabbing a coffee once a year, or forwarding an article you think they’d find interesting. The goal is to keep the link alive, because you never know where your next opportunity or collaboration will come from. This is a core part of taking Radical Ownership of your career path.
But remember: authentic connection beats transactional networking every time. People can sense when you’re only reaching out because you need something.
Family and Partners
These are often our closest relationships, but sometimes the ones we take for granted the most. The key here is intentional, quality time. It’s not just about being in the same room; it’s about being present. For partners, it might mean scheduling a dedicated date night. For family, especially those who live far away, a scheduled video call can make a world of difference. Sometimes, a shared experience is the best way to connect. Planning a trip to visit family, perhaps using points from a card like the Chase Sapphire card, turns an obligation into a memorable adventure.
Friendships
For many of us, friendships can be the first thing to slide when life gets busy. This is the area I know I need to work on the most. It’s easy to say no to opportunities to hang out, but strong friendships are critical for mental health and a balanced life. One of the best ways to keep friendships strong is through shared activities. It takes the pressure off of just “talking” and builds connection through experience.
Try a Shared Activity
A great way to connect with friends (or a partner) is through a shared new experience, like trying out a fitness class or a new wellness activity together. It builds memories and gives you something to talk about.
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What Helps and What Hurts
Through trial and error, I’ve identified patterns that either strengthen or weaken relationships:
What Helps:
- Vulnerability: Sharing your struggles, not just your successes
- Consistency: Small, regular contact beats sporadic grand gestures
- Active listening: Being genuinely curious about others’ lives
- Shared experiences: Creating memories together
- Following through: Doing what you say you’ll do
What Hurts:
- Score-keeping: Tracking who “owes” whom
- Only reaching out when you need something: This erodes trust
- Comparison: Measuring your life against others’
- Perfectionism: Waiting for the “perfect” time to reconnect
- Digital-only connection: Never moving beyond texts and likes
A Reading List for Leveling Up Your Relationship Skills
Just like with finance or fitness, we can learn to be better at relationships. If you’re looking for some guidance, here are ten highly-recommended books that cover everything from communication and friendships to professional networking. I’ve found that intentionally learning about these topics is a game-changer.
- For understanding different communication styles in partnerships: The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
- The timeless classic for friendships and professional life: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
- For navigating high-stakes conversations in any relationship: Crucial Conversations by Patterson, Grenny, et al.
- To understand your patterns in romantic relationships: Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel S. Heller.
- A modern guide to building professional networks: Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi.
- For creating deeper emotional connections with your partner: Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson.
- A research-backed guide for romantic partners: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Dr. John Gottman.
- A foundational book on compassionate communication: Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg.
- For building and maintaining better friendships as an adult: Platonic by Marisa G. Franco.
- For understanding the emotions that drive our connections: Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown.
Ultimately, nurturing relationships is an ongoing practice, not a problem to be solved once. It requires the same kind of consistent effort we put into our careers, our finances, or our health. And unlike those other areas, the ROI on relationships is immeasurable—you can’t quantify the value of having someone to call when life gets hard or someone who genuinely celebrates your wins.
The irony is that the times when we most need connection are often when we’re least likely to seek it out. When we’re stressed, overwhelmed, or struggling, our instinct is to withdraw. But that’s exactly when we need to push past the resistance and reach out. Because on the other side of that scary phone call or awkward first hangout in months is usually exactly what we needed all along.
Free Up Your Mind by Managing Your Finances
Sometimes, financial stress is a major reason we don’t have the mental energy for relationships. Getting your finances in order can free up valuable headspace. Here are some tools I find helpful:
- M1 Finance: Automate your investing to build wealth with less stress → Visit M1 Finance
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